Contents

Expressing Yourself 

Thoughts, Feelings, and Behavior

Emotions and Communication

Communication Channels

Rules and Assumptions

What Women Want

The Male Code of Conduct

Attraction

First Attraction

Personality

Physical Attributes

Getting Attention and Determining Interest

Socializing

Matchmaking

Companionship

Friendship

Dating

Relationships

Long Distance Relationships

Love

Physical Aspects of a Relationship

Virginity

Initiation

Application

Hookups

Taking a Lover

Your Sexual History

Teaching and Advice

Significant Trials and Tribulations

Road Bumps

Infidelity

Ending a Relationship

Just some thoughts...

I have always felt very passionate about my project. I didn't think it would change the world or anything, but I felt like it was a book that needed to be written. I hope that same feeling overcomes most authors who sit down with pen and paper or laptop and jot down their first few words. Honestly, I don't even know what my first few worlds were and I certainly did not set out knowing what the last few would be. While I was usually sure I would complete my project it took me three years to sum up what it was that I was really doing. One day while extremely discouraged, questioning why I even started the project in the first place, I sat down by Maayan in one of the dorm lounges and asked her "what is my purpose?". She looked at me and said "Well, Rebecca I am not entirely sure what your purpose is, but I really like you as a person". I smiles and said "no, no Maayan, I mean what is the purpose of my book?". What I was thinking was that I tell girls every day about my idea, about the premise behind it all and they always say to me that it is a wonderful idea, that boys confuse them, and that they can't wait to read my book. But I wonder, what exactly was it that they thought of? Was it some Holy Grail of masculine information or a comical question and answer session bound into a book? While trying to explain this quandary to Maayan and the two other girls sitting with us it dawned on me; I am writing a book that will give young women the opportunity to ask young men questions that they wouldn't otherwise ask because they feel it is inappropriate or because they are too shy. At the same time I was giving young men the opportunity to do some self inspection while learning what young women would like to know about them. Also, giving these same young men an opportunity to say whatever they want to women, good or bad, with little chance of ever getting in trouble or it. It seems like a lot because it is. It's quite a large undertaking, but like I previously mentioned, I am certain that this book will be beneficial to some not just in the final product, but in the process of writing as well.

The 15 Steps (Revised)

1          Eye flirting

2          Introduction (saying “hi” and learning each other’s names)

3          Intimate conversations or flirting (Texting counts)  

4          Dates or other one-on-one interactions

5          Cuddling with a purpose and/or holding hands

6          First Kiss

7          Making Out

8          Kissing places other than your partner’s mouth, but above their shoulders

9          Body fondling not including genitalia

10        Kissing places other than your partner’s mouth, on or below their shoulders not including genitalia

11        Manual stimulation on a female above clothing

11.25   Manual masturbation* on female above clothing including an orgasm

11.5     Manual stimulation female under clothing or without clothing

11.75   Manual masturbation* on a female under clothing or without clothing including an orgasm

12        Manual stimulation on a male above clothing

12.25   Manual masturbation* on a male above clothing

12.5     Manual stimulation on a male under clothing or without clothing

12.75   Manual masturbation* on a male under clothing or without clothing including an orgasm

13        Oral sex performed on a female

13.5     Oral sex performed on a female with an orgasm

14        Oral sex performed on a male

14.5     Oral sex performed on a male with an orgasm

15        Intercourse

*Masturbation: Excitation of one's own or another's genital organs, usually to orgasm, by manual contact or means other than sexual intercourse.

Hayley G Hoover

From what I can gather, Hayley's blog has a lot of similarities to mine, so check it out...

http://presence-blog.blogspot.com/

Friendship Question #1

When you meet a woman for the first time, what determines if she gets put in the “friend zone” or if you see potential for a relationship?

"The first thing is physical attraction and then personality, if I can’t see myself being with her then why be in a relationship if we can be just friends?" -1

"I would say that when I first meet someone I make an immediate estimate as to whether I could see myself in a relationship with them and if I find myself attracted to them. Most of the time, they are put into the relationship zone, just because, well I'm a guy and girls are pretty attractive right now. It has also happened to me where I met a girl that I never thought I would have more than a friends relationship and it definitely changed over time." -2

"Several factors can play into being placed in the “friend zone”. First, and most predictably, is physical attraction. I cannot envision myself in a relationship with someone I do not find attractive. A girl’s current relationship status is also something I consider; I will not attempt to pursue a girl who is already currently dating another guy." -3

"If she meets my preferences about body type and personality." -4

"I try not to put women into categories. Every woman I know is a friend and could have the potential for a relationship, since I see a “relationship” as a seamless extension of a friendship. Yes there are some women I find more emotionally, personally or physically more attractive which all play a role in deciding to pursue a woman to a relationship if pursuing is needed." -5

Best For Last - Adele

Wait, do you see my heart on my sleeve? 

It's been there for days on end and 

It's been waiting for you to open up 

yours too baby, come on now 

I'm trying to tell you just how 

I'd like to hear the words roll out of your mouth finally 

Say that it's always been me 

That's made you feel the way you've never felt before 

And I'm all you need and that you never want more 

Then you'd say all of the right things without a clue 

But you'd save the best for last 

Like I'm the one for you 

You should know that you're just a temporary fix 

This is not routine with you it don't mean that much to me 

oh just a filler in the space that happened to be free 

How dare you think you'd get away with trying to play me 

Why is it everytime I think I've tried my hardest 

It turns out it ain't enough

You're still not mentioning love 

What am I supposed to do to make you want me properly? 

I'm taking these chances and getting nowhere 

And though I'm trying my hardest you go back to her 

And I think that I know things may never change 

I'm still hoping one day I might hear you say 

I make you feel a way you've never felt before 

Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com 

And I'm all you need and you never want more 

Then you'd say all of the right things without a clue 

But you'd save the best for last 

Like I'm the one for you 

You should know that you're just a temporary fix 

This is not routine with you it don't mean that much to me 

Oh just a filler in the space that happened to be free 

How dare you think you'd get away with trying to play me 

But, despite the truth that I know 

I find it hard to let go and give up on you 

Seems I love the things you do 

Like the meaner you treat me the more eager I am 

To persist with this heartbreak and running around 

And I will do until I'm finding myself you

And make you feel a way you've never felt before 

And be all you need so that you never want more 

And you'll say all of the right things without a clue 

And you'll be the one for me and me the one for you 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIfqAKiNAZ0

Where I Stood - Missy Higgins

"Where I Stood"

I don't know what I've done

Or if I like what I've begun

But something told me to run

And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head

LIttle voices whispering

That I should go and this should end

Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you

All I know is that I should

And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you

All I know is that I should

'Cos she will love you more than I could

She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white

That it was wrong or it was right

But you ain't leaving without a fight

And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you

All I know is that I should

And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you

All I know is that I should

'Cos she will love you more than I could

She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call

You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all

But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you

This is what I have to do

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you

All I know is that I should

And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you

All I know is that I should

'Cos she will love you more than I could

She who dares to stand where I stood

Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCLERYzJsYA