Break Ups

While the rule that you get 1/3 of the time you and your ex were together to get over him might be a great goal, you can't really put a time line on such things. I was with my first "love" for 3 weeks and 6 weeks after the thought of him still made me want to cry. So I guess just try your best to move on, but don't feel bad if you just can't shake the thought of him. It's okay that you lay in bed thinking about what ifs and replaying romantic scenes in your head. Even making up scenarios that you wish would have played out before it was cut too short. Just try. That's all anyone can ask of you and all you can ask of yourself.


"A man is not measured by how much he can take and stand but by how fast he regains once fallen." -George S. Patton Jr.

I don't expect you to be strong all the time, but after you have a few episodes of feeling sad and lonely you need to push yourself to the opposite extreme and show the world just how amazing you can be. The way I see it, a girl has two options after the initial shock and sadness that is present after the ending of a relationship. You can either stay in the sadness and let it consume you for longer than necessary or you can take a shower, do your hair, and put on some nice clothes, get out there and show everyone you will be okay. Once you've convinced everyone that you are just fine thank you, maybe you might even be able to convince yourself.

He'll love you for you...

Life isn't like a movie. You aren't going to meet someone on Tuesday, fall in love by Friday and have mad hot sex on Sunday. It takes work. It takes patience. It takes faith. Whether you have yet to have your first relationship/hook up turned soul mate/"thing" or what-have-you or you are well on your way to your 10th, don't worry. There is someone out there for each of us. I know you want to hear that if you just read my book, jump on a treadmill and buy a little black dress they will start lining up at your front door. I will be the first to tell you that I am deeply sorry. If you do all of those things they MIGHT line up, but I doubt it. It couldn't hurt though. Just be yourself and he will come. Now don't be the "self" you think everyone wants you to be, just be YOU!

Here's a trick that I do. Make a pro/con list. Then take the con list and divide it into things you can change and things you can't. Once you have a list of things you can change write down how you can change them. Be realistic. Be honest. This list is for you. You can share this work with others or keep it to yourself. It's up to you.