Open to Interpretation

One person can never fully comprehend the thoughts and feelings of another person. That is what truly makes us feel alone. I have friends. I will not sit here and go on some rant about how I am all alone in this world, because I am not. I am merely alone in this room, alone in my head.

Another struggle I face, that I presumptuously presume all people face, is recalling an event or series of events with an outside source. Two people involved in an intimate act don’t even fully understand each other. They aren’t thinking the same things, they aren’t having the same feelings and they most definitely are not going to remember things the same.  If I can’t even make the person I was with understand how I was feeling, how can I make anyone else? He was there, he was making me feel all the things that I so distinctly remember, but in way he wasn’t always there. That the problem I suppose.

The truth doesn't always matter. Everyone says there are 3 sides to a story. Unless you are in a court case the truth isn't very relevant, how we interpret and remember situations is. If I'm upset because you said something, but you didn't mean to upset me our sides of the story matter and need to be explained, but the 3rd side, the truth is irrelevant.

We can all try to be open and honest with our partners. Women more often than not complain that their partners won’t take the time to try and explain what they are thinking and feeling. What I am starting to understand is that the act of conveying the heart wrenching emotions that I am feeling to an outside source in an attempt to make the feelings go away is a fruitless effort. I am by no means trying to say that no one will understand me. While my situation is unique by its dates, locations, and names, maybe even by specific phrases used, it is by no means unique in design. I am not the first person to have an inappropriate and forbidden physical relationship. I am also not the first person to fall in love with someone that they felt they could simply stay friends with. I laugh at the use of the word simply in the last sentence; how dare I think that anything involving emotion is simple. Millions of people have had their hearts broken since the beginning of time. Millions of people probably get their heart broken every day.

But I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to write a book for you about what to do when you get your heart broken. How could I? I mean, honestly, does anyone really know what to do? I can give you advice, but so can everyone else. Maybe what make me different is that I don’t know and I will honestly say that to you. I didn’t set out writing this book thinking there would be any advice in it at all, that came about three years into the project. My goal is to present you with information, not tell you how to interpret it. A friend of mine once said to me that he enjoyed art because no one can tell you how to interpret it or how to feel while experiencing it. That is just like life and love. I can tell you stories and give you advice as a jumping off point but no one can tell you how something should look, taste, smell, feel, or simply be. That is up to you to decide and interpret.